Barking Mad

This week, we are dog-sitting for a few months...er, weeks...er, days. He is a very cute and extremely friendly little Yorkie who likes long walks in the park, meeting new people, kissing (you learn to be on guard, or go through a lot of Listerine) and playing with his big, pink bear. What he doesn't like is being dognapped.

He watched his mom pack. He saw her leave with two suitcases. And yet, when we showed up to "rescue" him, he decided, deep in that fuzzy little brain, that we were stealing him from his mom, and therefore,somebody must pay.

5pm A good long walk to tire him out (he was okay with that)

6pm A car ride (still okay as long as he gets to ride up front in his car seat. S-P-O-I-L-E-D)

6:30pm Arrive at our house. Cook dinner(hot dogs on the grill). The barking begins (maybe hot dogs were a poor choice)

7pm Feed dog; eat dinner. The barking continues. Knowing I, step-mommy dearest, won't give him "people food" (I dealt with the constipation and extremely unpleasant resolution to the problem last time, he targets Tim, the "weak link", to be the sole ( I wish) recipient of each loud, shrill yip amd yap.

7:30pm Still barking at Tim, jumping up on ottoman to go (psycho) mano a mano as Tim tries to watch TV.

8pm Barking continues. Now barking at counter where treats are, then barking at Tim.

8:30pm Bark! Tim's head explodes. Brain matter all over walls. I take dog for a long walk. Tim goes on hour-long, fruitless search for puppy training pads at CVS, Safeway, etc.

9:30pm We all return home. Barking resumes.

10pm Ten minute walk. Pees on car tire of neighbor while barking at another dog.

10:30 Bed. Barking stops. He has decided to forgive Tim. Kissing starts.

11pm Finally, kissing stops. Single woof.

11:11pm Single woof.

11:12pm Single woof.

11:13pm Single woof. (Okay, okay, we'll spill the top secret info. Just make it stop!)

11:15pm Worn out by the previous activities, he sleeps.

3:30am Woof! Doogie downers, anyone?

4am Woof! "Shut up!"

4:30am Woof! and kisses. "Go away!" Threats are issued.

5am Dogs next door bark. Guess who responds. Yelling. Cursing. Barking.

5:30am Woof! Dire threats are issued.

6am Neighbors bark. We respond. Again. Cursing. Threats. Again.

7am Everyone up! Time for a walk and breakfast.

7:30am Tim eats. Barking starts (continues?)

8am Tim showers. Dog hurls himself at shower door, bathroom door, bedroom door, whatever door is available and between himself and his target, barking all the while.

8:30am Tim leaves for work. Dog collapses on floor and goes to sleep. Rests voice for when Tim returns home.

7pm Tim returns home from work. Round two begins..........?!?!?