Breathe Deeply and Relax

The sound of running water is supposed to be restful. They put it on those sound machines that they sell at places like Brookstone or Sharper Image.

FYI: They are wrong.

Everytime it rains, the roof of my yoga studio leaks, which always makes class... interesting, rather than restful.

Buckets indicate known drips, and putting your mat next to them will slowly drive you crazy (which for me is not a far trip).

"Close your eyes and take a deep breath." Plop. Plop. Plop-plop-plop.

"Feel your ribs expanding as you send the breath into your back." Plop-splash. Plop-splash. How about sending someone to fix the roof? There's an idea.

Chairs or piles of blankets indicate saturated ceiling tiles which, although they are not currently leaking, may come crashing down at any given moment.

"Imagine the breath sending energy through your body." Imagine my head being crushed like a grape when the ceiling collapses.

"Picture a clock on the ceiling. Move your eyes diagonally from two to eight." How about if I just move them from the big leak that is threatening to drown me to the large tile that is threatening to sever a major artery when it lands point-first on me?

And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. They decided to fix the roof (Wasn't it Buddha who said:be careful what you wish for...?)

"Breathe in to a count of four, exhale to a count of six, hold your breath for a count of two." Bang. Bang. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Wait. Was thet 4-6-2 or 2-4-6? Do I breathe in on the thumps and out on the bangs or vice-versa?

"Place the soles of your feet against the wall and straighten your legs as you raise yourself up on your hands." Bzzzz. Thump. Bzzzzz. Thump. Okay, I can barely keep my balance when the wall is not vibrating.

And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse...the lights went out (I swear, I did not ask for this).

Goody. Yoga by candle and emergency exit light. I just love new challanges. Well, at least the power tools were silenced.

After checking with the front desk, the instructor assured all of us that the power had been temporarily shut off in the building, but there was no danger, so we could continue with class. And so we did our downward dogs and dolphins and cobras by feel.

The upside was that when you over-balanced in tree pose and toppled over, no one could see you. The downside was that when you can't see the instructor demonstrating a new pose, it's like playing limbo and twister at the same time. You can end up trying to wrap your leg around your neck while balancing on your pinkie, and taking out the person next to you.

Finally though, class was drawing to an end. It was time for relaxation (You get to lie down, cover yourself with a nice, warm blanket or two, and drift off...my kind of exercise!)

"Feel your muscles relax as you -" Bzzz. Bzzzz. Thump-bang. Thump-bang. Ah. Power was restored. Thank goodness. For a minute there, I was afraid I would actually be able to relax.