Stood Up

I think I am having a flashback to high school. You know when you tell your friend that you want to meet a certain cute boy and they talk to his friends to set it up, and then you wait by the phone for the call?

Well, I talked to some of my friends and I am waiting for a call. The only difference is that now it is from a painter, and I don't really care whether he is cute or not. As far as I am concerned, he could have one eye in the middle of his forehead, a hump on his back Quasimodo would be proud of, hair sprouting out of both ears so long it could be braided and a wart the size of Gibraltar on his nose. If he can hold a paintbrush and isn't afraid of heights, we have a date!

The first friend I talked to had just the guy for me, and set us up for a Monday morning. In anticipation, I went to the store and got paint samples, carefully holding each one up to the various walls. This one made the room look too dark, that one too light, several were the wrong color entirely, and others were just not really flattering in certain lighting. Finally though, I had it narrowed down to two or three perfect colors.

With breathless anticipation, I welcomed Painter Number One into the house and spent the next half hour talking trim and faux finishes. I guess he was just not that into my walls though, because I never heard from him again.

"It's not you, it's him," my friend consoled me. "He just got bogged down in previous commitments. But I know someone else who would be perfect for you."

Enter Painter Number Two. Although, to be technical, Painter number two never actually entered. Painter number two never actually called. At all. So now I was being rejected, sight unseen.

I thought about calling Painter Number Two myself and demanding to know what was wrong with me, but I didn't want to appear desperate.

Telling myself that I could do better, I called another friend to see if they could set me up with someone. It was okay if they couldn't do faux finishes or murals, those guys just break your hearts. I only wanted someone who could fill my basic needs for something other than white walls, and not mess up the trim.

He said he had just the guy for me, and would have him call me to give me an estimate. That was five days ago, and the phone still hasn't rung. Are my walls fundamentally unpaintable? Am I asking too much to add a little color to my world?

I'm afraid if I don't hear from someone soon, I'll do something truly desperate like look in the newspaper or the Yellow Pages, or worse yet, try to do it myself (I actually did try the faux finish in our last house, and Tim begged me never to do it again...something about the pink, which was supposed to be more of a salmon color, making him feel like he was living in the bottom of a Peptobismol bottle. The more I tried to fix it, the pinker it got. Not good.) Hopefully, I will get a call before it comes to that.