Pool service people think I'm dumb. There can be no other explanation for the lame excuses they have consistently given me for our heater not working.
Excuse#1: the wind
It keeps blowing out the pilot light. Yeah, must be that gale force wind we have blowing daily through the neighborhood. You know, the one that picks up houses and drops them on people wearing ruby slippers.
Besides, the heater is in an enclosed space. Aha! They seize on this detail like it's the last truffle in the Godiva box. That's why the wind is blowing it out. It can't go through the area, so it gets trapped in that enclosed space and just keeps going back and forth, back and forth, subjecting the pilot light to an inescapable barrage of air.
Okay, so how exactly does the wind get in there in the first place? Does it climb over the fence, or perhaps it stops short of the fence, then executes a series of ninety degree turns to gain access. Gee, you'd think if it was smart enough to get in, it could figure out how to get out.
Excuse #2: the thermostat
The actual pool temperature is too close to the preset temperature for it to turn the heater on. Yeah. Seventy-five is real close to ninety-two (I don't think of it as a pool so much as a giant hot tub).
I'm glad these people aren't doctors. I can see it now: "No need to worry. Your temperature is only 102. That's not anywhere near 104, which would be dangerous. Just go home and relax. Hey, maybe your thermometer is broken!"
Then again, perhaps I'm just imagining the blue skin and goosebumps the size of baseballs.
And finally, excuse #3: the control panel isn't working
You mean the thing that gives the date, time and temperature? The think that controls the lights, filter pump and cleaner? That thing? Nope. Working fine. How do I know? Well, when I press the filter pump button, the pump works, and when I press the buttons for the lights, they come on. Oh, and the date and time are correct. Now, I'm no rocket scientist, but I'd say that means it is working.
Any more excuses? No? Fresh out? Gosh, and I was so enjoying our little game.
Fortunately, our new pool company has not tried to fob me off with those same old dumb excuses. When I called them last week about the heater not working, they came right out, looked at it and figured out a way to resolve the problem quickly and easily...replace the heater!
I'm sorry I asked.
Showing posts with label pool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pool. Show all posts
Friday, June 13, 2008
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
The Pool
This year is the sixth anniversary of our pool. And the third anniversary of our pool leak.
Three years ago, I noticed that the pool level was dropping several inches a week, so I mentioned it to the pool guy. His theory.....evaporation. The fact that it was fall and the temperature was struggling along in the seventies didn't phase him one bit. He swore it happened all the time to every pool he serviced. He was convinced that our pools were causing hurricanes, typhoons and monsoons the world over.
When I failed to buy into his theory, he came up with a new one....we had clearly splashed it out while we were swimming. Happened all the time to every pool he serviced. (I'd like to know who he thought we had swimming in our pools--Shamu?) It was what caused the neighbors' basements to flood when it rained. The fact that we hadn't even been in the pool that week was beside the point.
Two years ago, the new pool company came up with a different theory....a leak. Best case...recaulk the filters, the lights and the polaris(automatic pool cleaner thingy that runs around the pool sucking up leaves and such). Worst case.....rip up the deck and possibly the yard and replace the pipes. Perhaps I was too hasty dismissing guy number one. Maybe there was something to his evaporation theory after all.
Hoping for the best, we scheduled an appointment to have the pool recaulked. The good news was that we wouldn't have to drain the pool. The guy doing it would wear scuba gear and just do it under water. I should have sold tickets and popped some popcorn. I could have made a fortune.
That year, we were remodeling our kitchen (okay, and the bathroom, dining room and part of the basement. Oh, and painting every room in the house and replacing the back porch screens. We have issues with doing things in moderation, but that's another story). Anyway, the entire house was in shambles, we had a dumpster sitting out front with pieces of walls and floors sticking out of it as well as a broken pirate's sword (I assume one of the neighbors, but I'm not sure I want to know which one. Since none of them even remotely resemble Fabio, I can't imagine a good scenario here). Add to that the various trucks and cars with an astonishing array of tools and materials spilling out all over our yard, and it looked like we were filming an episode of Extreme Home Makeover. I think one of the guys actually did have a bullhorn (but again, something I'm not sure I want to know about).
Into this mix, came Scubaman. One bright, sunny afternoon, a white van pulled into the driveway. The back door swung open and a flipper stuck out. It turns out the flipper was attached to a leg and was part of a matching set. Slap, slap, slap. Up the driveway he came, complete with mask and tank. Tools abruptly ceased their clammoring, mouths dropped open, paint dripped unheeded down the walls, neighbors gathered so quickly, I wondered if someone hadn't ridden down the street shouting, "The pool guy is coming!".
We all followed Scubaman into the backyard and watched while he slipped into the pool. It was riveting; better even than Survivor or Dancing With the Stars. We were all kind of disappointed when it only took a few minutes for him to complete the job. Still, for those few shining moments, we had front row seats at our own Cirque du Soliel water show.
The water level held pretty well through the end of that season and into the next. Last August though, the water level began, once again, to drop. We decided to close the pool early and fix the problem at the beginning of this season, which is today. That way, I had time to set up the bleachers and send out the formal invitations. Now I just have to figure out how much to charge for the snacks.
Three years ago, I noticed that the pool level was dropping several inches a week, so I mentioned it to the pool guy. His theory.....evaporation. The fact that it was fall and the temperature was struggling along in the seventies didn't phase him one bit. He swore it happened all the time to every pool he serviced. He was convinced that our pools were causing hurricanes, typhoons and monsoons the world over.
When I failed to buy into his theory, he came up with a new one....we had clearly splashed it out while we were swimming. Happened all the time to every pool he serviced. (I'd like to know who he thought we had swimming in our pools--Shamu?) It was what caused the neighbors' basements to flood when it rained. The fact that we hadn't even been in the pool that week was beside the point.
Two years ago, the new pool company came up with a different theory....a leak. Best case...recaulk the filters, the lights and the polaris(automatic pool cleaner thingy that runs around the pool sucking up leaves and such). Worst case.....rip up the deck and possibly the yard and replace the pipes. Perhaps I was too hasty dismissing guy number one. Maybe there was something to his evaporation theory after all.
Hoping for the best, we scheduled an appointment to have the pool recaulked. The good news was that we wouldn't have to drain the pool. The guy doing it would wear scuba gear and just do it under water. I should have sold tickets and popped some popcorn. I could have made a fortune.
That year, we were remodeling our kitchen (okay, and the bathroom, dining room and part of the basement. Oh, and painting every room in the house and replacing the back porch screens. We have issues with doing things in moderation, but that's another story). Anyway, the entire house was in shambles, we had a dumpster sitting out front with pieces of walls and floors sticking out of it as well as a broken pirate's sword (I assume one of the neighbors, but I'm not sure I want to know which one. Since none of them even remotely resemble Fabio, I can't imagine a good scenario here). Add to that the various trucks and cars with an astonishing array of tools and materials spilling out all over our yard, and it looked like we were filming an episode of Extreme Home Makeover. I think one of the guys actually did have a bullhorn (but again, something I'm not sure I want to know about).
Into this mix, came Scubaman. One bright, sunny afternoon, a white van pulled into the driveway. The back door swung open and a flipper stuck out. It turns out the flipper was attached to a leg and was part of a matching set. Slap, slap, slap. Up the driveway he came, complete with mask and tank. Tools abruptly ceased their clammoring, mouths dropped open, paint dripped unheeded down the walls, neighbors gathered so quickly, I wondered if someone hadn't ridden down the street shouting, "The pool guy is coming!".
We all followed Scubaman into the backyard and watched while he slipped into the pool. It was riveting; better even than Survivor or Dancing With the Stars. We were all kind of disappointed when it only took a few minutes for him to complete the job. Still, for those few shining moments, we had front row seats at our own Cirque du Soliel water show.
The water level held pretty well through the end of that season and into the next. Last August though, the water level began, once again, to drop. We decided to close the pool early and fix the problem at the beginning of this season, which is today. That way, I had time to set up the bleachers and send out the formal invitations. Now I just have to figure out how much to charge for the snacks.
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