Love is in the Air

It must be the unusually warm weather we've been having lately, but I have been seeing a lot more of some people than I ever wanted to see.

Walking my sister-in-law's dog one afternoon (Murray), I decided to take the path through the park. As we approached from the sidewalk on the other side of the batting cages, I spotted a little, white dog sitting by a bench off the path.

As we got closer, I realized there was a guy kneeling on the bench with his back to me. Odd. Why would someone kneel on the bench? Wait a minute...why did he have four legs, two facing forward and two facing backward?

Before this little fact completely registered, the guy (more like sixteen year old kid) became alerted to our approach and sprang up off the bench (and the sixteen year old girl under him) like an Olympic gymnast off a pommel horse. (His technique was a little sloppy, but I gave him a 9.5 for the dismount overall.)

Clothing was pushed and pulled frantically back into place, buttons were buttoned, zippers were zipped...it was like watching the lightening round of some adult game show from Sweden.

Since it was too late to turn around, I decided to pretend I hadn't seen anything and tried to pass them without making eye contact.

I would have made it too, if the dog (naturally, a female) hadn't trotted on over to greet Murray, who is fixed (or broken as Tim likes to say) and try to show him what had been going on...firsthand.

It was not pretty, and I'm not sure whose face was reddest(and I'm including Murray. Who knew dogs could look that shocked?) by the time we, er, separated them.

Several nights later, Tim, Rose (his sister) and I went out to dinner at a little Italian place. Since it was such a nice night, we were seated on the patio right in front of the window at one end of the bar.

We had just ordered when Rose began choking on her iced tea and gesturing toward the bar where a couple sat with their backs to us. (Actually, come to think of it, the expression on her face was pretty close to the one on Murray's when little Fifi decided to show him what he was missing.)

Tim and I turned to see the guy (not sixteen) rubbing the woman's back...and backside. Oh Goody. Dinner theater.

As if it couldn't get worse, he suddenly reached up and unscrewed the light above them obviously thinking the darkness would conceal his next move (which it did from everybody but us unfortunately).

His hand slowly began an upward journey, taking her shirt with it, while her hand disappeared somewhere I don't even want to think about!

Part of me couldn't tear my eyes away, like when you see a horrible accident and you know you shouldn't slow down and stare, but you just can't help yourself. And the other part of me wanted to throw my hands up in front of my face and shriek, "My eyes. My eyes!"

At any rate, ten minutes later, we had learned three things: 1. her bra and panties matched, 2. art may only imitate real life, but it sure is better looking on HBO with George Clooney and Julia Roberts, and 3. some people are not capable of being embarrassed...even when they should be.

They say that things come in threes, and sure enough, when I was walking Murray again this afternoon, there it was...young love on the same park bench.

This time, I decided to turn around and head directly back to the safety of Rose's apartment and Dr. Phil. With any luck, maybe the topic on his show would be overcoming severe trauma.